After dedicating your time searching and fielding through profiles, you finally had an online witty conversation with a possible-match and you’re ready to take your could-be relationship offline.
It’s true that first dates can be one of the most nerve-wracking, anxiety-producing situations in our society.
You’ll discover how particular your date is about his food, how adventurous his or her palate is, and if you share a love (or hatred) of mustard. What’s the most embarrassing concert you’ve ever attended? Maybe it’s a tiny trinket that represents a cherished person or memory. Get to know the people in your date’s life by asking about the most fascinating one. But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part.
Assuming your date’s not a vegetarian, get the conversation going with a pretty innocent—but telling—question. Hearing your date brag about someone else might reveal more about him/her than a series of direct personal questions would. Now that you’re armed with some great first date questions, let’s review a few general guidelines for dating discourse: Listen as much or more than you talk Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly.Turn the tables and choose to share guilty pleasures instead. Some very respectable folks have been to Barry Manilow — and/or Yo Gabba Gabba — concerts. Think of conversation as a tennis match in which the players lob the ball back and forth. Peel the onion, don’t stab it with a paring knife Getting to know someone new is like peeling an onion one thin layer at the time. But some people, over-eager to get into deep and meaningful conversation, go too far too fast.They ask personal or sensitive questions that put the other person on the defensive.We’ve all got our go-to spots that keep luring us back, whether they are funky coffee shops, scenic hiking trails, or relaxing weekend getaway locales. ’ first date question, ask something more specific that will likely get an entertaining story about food and travel, rather than a one-word answer. In which television show’s world would you most want to live? Keep it light and fun and ask about the fictional world your date would most want to explore. This question offers plenty of freedom for him or her to share their dreams and interests with you.Your date may have a local park he/she frequents or a European city that’s been a regular destination. After the introduction and awkward hug, this opening question should follow. Does the bartender know to bring a gin and tonic to the table before you order? Wouldn’t “Cheers” be a great place for a first date? His or her list could include travel plans, career goals, personal milestones, or adrenaline-junkie adventures. Instead of prying into past heartaches and failures, give him or her an opportunity to share struggles any way he/she so chooses.Eminent psychologist Karl Menninger said one of the most reliable gauges of a person’s emotional health as an adult was a stable, satisfying childhood.This doesn’t mean — of course — that you should automatically avoid someone who had a difficult upbringing. This question gets to the core of a person’s being.Sometimes they lead to burning love sometimes they go down in flames.Even so, there’s nothing quite like the anticipation for the initial meet-and-greet.If he watches TV and plays video games all day, you may have a couch potato on your hands.This question is a must, considering not all of your time spent together in a long-term relationship can be candlelit and wine-filled. Where did you grow up, and what was your family like?A few years back, I had what you might call a crisis.I'm not going to bore you with all the details, but let's just say that my dating life was really empty.But you do want the assurance that the individual has insight into his or her family background and has sought to address lingering wounds and unhealthy patterns. If the individual responds with “I dunno,” that might be a red flag that he or she isn’t passionate about anything.